thank you for your letter. i'm in a slightly lonely phase of my life -- you know the kind where you don't hv enough in you to make the effort day-to-day to connect -- and i think connecting to your letters is something so effortless, given how easy your words of warmth flow from one to the next
that's such a lovely way of describing the exact period of life you mean, and an even lovelier compliment to receive :( thank you for reading, always, and for treating me to the warmth of your own words time and time again 🤍
"In order to be real, the present only ever needs the past to exist. It doesn’t matter what happened, or how, or why. It need only have happened. If it turns out that someday that friend shows up on my doorstep and demands to be reimbursed with interest for what she paid for that muffin, then that won’t make the note and the muffin from back then any less real." aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhggggg and also "A home, even if just a concept of it and the fantasies we long to fulfill should it become more, is the perfect container for those daydreams. A home only ours makes anything not just possible but also ours by default." !!!!! how do you do it!!!
this all really resonated with me... sometimes i'm afraid of wanting/wishing for a home too earnestly because i know that i'll be bad at seeing the truth in that present-ness of day-to-day domesticity while it's happening. as in, i don't "deserve" it because i never really understand it until after the lights have been turned off, until one day i stumble upon the memory again and only then do i recognize it for what it was, for the snapshot of love it was. for example those "places" you talk about—like a passing whiff of a familiar perfume—i know well, but the times they remind me of are often times i didn't know would end up being so precious, so true when i was living them. even though i know the mundane is something to treat preciously i guess it's hard to do in the moment, precisely because it's the mundane :')
this letter has really inspired me to leave more small (or maybe even large) artifacts in the world for myself and my friends to discover and read!!! thank you!!
oh, your comments are always so, so thoughtful, thank you so much for this :(
"i'll be bad at seeing the truth in that present-ness of day-to-day domesticity while it's happening" is so !!! i love that. absolutely. and you're so right about not really knowing what you'll remember until you Have, until it's a memory, until it's been preserved in what you recognize in the present. but i like to think that we can choose to remember something as it's happening, and part of that is also just leaving artifacts for ourselves — so it made me smile so big when i got to your last paragraph there.
hope you're doing as well as can be these days, and thank You for reading! 🥹🤍
i've been catching back up on reading my subscriptions after a busy period of my life, and your newsletter is always one i get excited to see in my inbox. i know it's been a bit since you've posted this, but it doesn't dull the potency or resonance of your words. i love the way you describe home and intimacy, and this newsletter reminded me of the true human capacity to love. reading the section on domesticity and intimacy, your quote about sunlight in the living room reminded me of the song "Last of the Loving" by Coco. i've never read any official analysis of the lyrics or the chords, but it always makes me rediscover the feeling of falling in love recklessly. the quiet safety you feel when you're discovering a home in someone, and just feeling satiated? with love.
what a wonderful letter! it gave me such a warm and nostalgic vibe and the part about the love being there once, that will never have not been there is so raw and relatable ahhh!! (also if you wouldn’t mind, i’d love a bit more info on the anima locorum concept and the only home you get is memory line because i am a little silly and my brain just can’t get it right now :’) have a lovely day!
no no i probably didn't explain it well, to be fair!! i guess the gist of it is that we tend to attach feelings like home and nostalgia to a specific place, or a specific time period — for example, some people describe childhood as if to return to it is to return to the innocence they remember. but that feeling isn't actually attached to childhood itself, i don't think. the sense of being home isn't about the place or the house, either. it's A Vibe. memory is the only home you get bc home is only possible when you're remembering something fondly. you can't actually Go there. home is not a place. god i'm probably just making this more confusing so i will stop now, but thank you so much for reading and for the kind words and i wish you a lovely day in return 🌀💗
thank you for your letter. i'm in a slightly lonely phase of my life -- you know the kind where you don't hv enough in you to make the effort day-to-day to connect -- and i think connecting to your letters is something so effortless, given how easy your words of warmth flow from one to the next
that's such a lovely way of describing the exact period of life you mean, and an even lovelier compliment to receive :( thank you for reading, always, and for treating me to the warmth of your own words time and time again 🤍
so so beautiful, thank you for this letter !!!
"In order to be real, the present only ever needs the past to exist. It doesn’t matter what happened, or how, or why. It need only have happened. If it turns out that someday that friend shows up on my doorstep and demands to be reimbursed with interest for what she paid for that muffin, then that won’t make the note and the muffin from back then any less real." aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhggggg and also "A home, even if just a concept of it and the fantasies we long to fulfill should it become more, is the perfect container for those daydreams. A home only ours makes anything not just possible but also ours by default." !!!!! how do you do it!!!
this all really resonated with me... sometimes i'm afraid of wanting/wishing for a home too earnestly because i know that i'll be bad at seeing the truth in that present-ness of day-to-day domesticity while it's happening. as in, i don't "deserve" it because i never really understand it until after the lights have been turned off, until one day i stumble upon the memory again and only then do i recognize it for what it was, for the snapshot of love it was. for example those "places" you talk about—like a passing whiff of a familiar perfume—i know well, but the times they remind me of are often times i didn't know would end up being so precious, so true when i was living them. even though i know the mundane is something to treat preciously i guess it's hard to do in the moment, precisely because it's the mundane :')
this letter has really inspired me to leave more small (or maybe even large) artifacts in the world for myself and my friends to discover and read!!! thank you!!
oh, your comments are always so, so thoughtful, thank you so much for this :(
"i'll be bad at seeing the truth in that present-ness of day-to-day domesticity while it's happening" is so !!! i love that. absolutely. and you're so right about not really knowing what you'll remember until you Have, until it's a memory, until it's been preserved in what you recognize in the present. but i like to think that we can choose to remember something as it's happening, and part of that is also just leaving artifacts for ourselves — so it made me smile so big when i got to your last paragraph there.
hope you're doing as well as can be these days, and thank You for reading! 🥹🤍
i've been catching back up on reading my subscriptions after a busy period of my life, and your newsletter is always one i get excited to see in my inbox. i know it's been a bit since you've posted this, but it doesn't dull the potency or resonance of your words. i love the way you describe home and intimacy, and this newsletter reminded me of the true human capacity to love. reading the section on domesticity and intimacy, your quote about sunlight in the living room reminded me of the song "Last of the Loving" by Coco. i've never read any official analysis of the lyrics or the chords, but it always makes me rediscover the feeling of falling in love recklessly. the quiet safety you feel when you're discovering a home in someone, and just feeling satiated? with love.
thank you for sharing your thoughts with us :)
what a wonderful letter! it gave me such a warm and nostalgic vibe and the part about the love being there once, that will never have not been there is so raw and relatable ahhh!! (also if you wouldn’t mind, i’d love a bit more info on the anima locorum concept and the only home you get is memory line because i am a little silly and my brain just can’t get it right now :’) have a lovely day!
no no i probably didn't explain it well, to be fair!! i guess the gist of it is that we tend to attach feelings like home and nostalgia to a specific place, or a specific time period — for example, some people describe childhood as if to return to it is to return to the innocence they remember. but that feeling isn't actually attached to childhood itself, i don't think. the sense of being home isn't about the place or the house, either. it's A Vibe. memory is the only home you get bc home is only possible when you're remembering something fondly. you can't actually Go there. home is not a place. god i'm probably just making this more confusing so i will stop now, but thank you so much for reading and for the kind words and i wish you a lovely day in return 🌀💗