sha sha what can i say except from how lovely this piece is? of course this is a piece in relation to yourself but i can't imagine a more perfect time for this to arrive (ignore that im a day late). the other day i found myself in a Mood over the experiences that i don't feel robbed of but still want in some general fomo way. and this this sha was just a near replica of some of that feeling but from a different end, isn't it wonderful that your writing can capture this? feeling alone alongside loneliness as well is something ive had to sit with over the past couple years given the state of the world and i think prior to then i didnt know how much my sense of identity had been informed by the fact that i was always surrounded by others. fast forward to this past winter it had gotten to a point where i was repeating to my online friends that i wasn't a person anymore, i wasn't being seen or known by others that werent in the palm of my hand. on walks i find myself always looking into other peoples eyes wanting them to acknowledge that they see me and it works, sometimes. and sometimes a romantic relationship feels like it would cure that void and then i realize i would have to see that person as well, and i fear that i would crumble from that. that was a tangent i think what i'm trying to say is that is reading this reminded me of when my main human interactions were cashiers asking how id like to pay and uber eats drivers asking for directions and how i still cried about it last week and how a woman struck up a conversation with me while we waited for food and how that made me feel less lonely than the concerts and the clubs.
i am glad that you don't feel lonely sad that these months are heavy for you and glad again that you are loved and you know it.
im sure this doesnt make much sense but thank you truly for this.
every time i feel like i have just enough to say in reply to this to at least start responding, i get to the last few sentences and then i just really, really don’t have enough at all. but if i could appropriate some of your words here: whenever i get a response like this, it really does feel like that thing you mentioned, about wanting someone to look you in the eye and just see you for a moment. i feel like i’m really wearing out this sentiment now, but writing is like that, though, i think. you write something and it’s the most solitary act in the world, but you send it out and it becomes connected to the world. and when someone responds, you exist for a moment, and maybe that really is where my privilege, my non-loneliness, is at, above all. that i’ve never wanted for company or love through being known and understood, because my words have never wanted for company and love through being known and understood. all in thanks to people like you. so thank you for this, naomi. for the warmth and kindness shining through even with something at its core so melancholic for both of us. i think the world has really sized itself down so much in the past year that often i forget how expansive it remains, how much is happening all at once, how much a world exists in me but also outside. so thank you for being part of my outside world. i know i consider myself very blessed to be on the other end of your words. and truly, truly, if you ever need someone to send ontario gothic or geese security photos to for a little confirmation that both of us are people, you know where to find me 🤍
sha sha what can i say except from how lovely this piece is? of course this is a piece in relation to yourself but i can't imagine a more perfect time for this to arrive (ignore that im a day late). the other day i found myself in a Mood over the experiences that i don't feel robbed of but still want in some general fomo way. and this this sha was just a near replica of some of that feeling but from a different end, isn't it wonderful that your writing can capture this? feeling alone alongside loneliness as well is something ive had to sit with over the past couple years given the state of the world and i think prior to then i didnt know how much my sense of identity had been informed by the fact that i was always surrounded by others. fast forward to this past winter it had gotten to a point where i was repeating to my online friends that i wasn't a person anymore, i wasn't being seen or known by others that werent in the palm of my hand. on walks i find myself always looking into other peoples eyes wanting them to acknowledge that they see me and it works, sometimes. and sometimes a romantic relationship feels like it would cure that void and then i realize i would have to see that person as well, and i fear that i would crumble from that. that was a tangent i think what i'm trying to say is that is reading this reminded me of when my main human interactions were cashiers asking how id like to pay and uber eats drivers asking for directions and how i still cried about it last week and how a woman struck up a conversation with me while we waited for food and how that made me feel less lonely than the concerts and the clubs.
i am glad that you don't feel lonely sad that these months are heavy for you and glad again that you are loved and you know it.
im sure this doesnt make much sense but thank you truly for this.
every time i feel like i have just enough to say in reply to this to at least start responding, i get to the last few sentences and then i just really, really don’t have enough at all. but if i could appropriate some of your words here: whenever i get a response like this, it really does feel like that thing you mentioned, about wanting someone to look you in the eye and just see you for a moment. i feel like i’m really wearing out this sentiment now, but writing is like that, though, i think. you write something and it’s the most solitary act in the world, but you send it out and it becomes connected to the world. and when someone responds, you exist for a moment, and maybe that really is where my privilege, my non-loneliness, is at, above all. that i’ve never wanted for company or love through being known and understood, because my words have never wanted for company and love through being known and understood. all in thanks to people like you. so thank you for this, naomi. for the warmth and kindness shining through even with something at its core so melancholic for both of us. i think the world has really sized itself down so much in the past year that often i forget how expansive it remains, how much is happening all at once, how much a world exists in me but also outside. so thank you for being part of my outside world. i know i consider myself very blessed to be on the other end of your words. and truly, truly, if you ever need someone to send ontario gothic or geese security photos to for a little confirmation that both of us are people, you know where to find me 🤍